Hello, I'm an evangelical Christian who believes in having many, many children in accordance with God's will. And to combat the evils of Communism, atheism, and people who aren't like me. Essentially, my side's not big enough to change America into a theocracy, and I'm changing that, one child at a time. I'd like to introduce my children.
I love them all SO much.
Yes, this is parody. Real birthquakes might not have theme naming. Maybe.